continued from (x):
what if one day Bucky forgets to take off his eyeliner before he gets in the shower and then he catches his reflection in the bathroom mirror and just sees the makeup smudged around his eyes and his hair is long and hanging around his face and he forgets how to breathe because he’d forgotten what he’d looked like before and even though the Bucky in the mirror is so different from the Bucky that was the Winter Soldier all he can see are the similarities and when Steve breaks down the door ten minutes later he finds Bucky sitting on the floor, curled up, breathing hard, and when Steve wraps his arms around him it feels too much like restraints and Bucky shouts and thrashes and Steve can see the new marks on his arms from where he’d been gripping himself too hard, trying to hold himself together, and when Bucky’s breathing returns to normal he meets Steve’s eyes and they sit there together in silence, just watching each other. The next morning Bucky emerges from the bathroom as usual, eyeliner perfect, and his face is determined. He will not let one incident stop him. He will not forget himself ever again.